its the time of the year again for my sum up of the year+ reflections + resolutions. hahaha. its like an essay title -.- but yeah. i think its good to do this (: keeps things in perspective and reading each entry as each yr goes by. its like a wj development chart, no? haha

anyway, 2008 has been an interesting year. full of ups and downs. excitement and well some drama -.- while i really feel this year was a wonderful year.. it did start quite badly. with some who weren't at all good for me. who hurt me, tried to push me down and all sorts of fucked up shit. i'm glad i'm over all that, and with the whole moving out of dorms, i'm able to keep my environment filled solely with ppl i enjoy spending time with (:

its really been a year of self-discovery and then self-contentment. i'm no longer afraid of being alone. i treasure my alone time actually. hahaha. i've narrowed my social circle over the course of e year too. to include only those i genuinely like and love. so yes, to you i love you (: i'm really happy to be where i am. more content with life than i've ever been in a long long time.

so many friends who have grown closer this year (: ppl who i hold dearly, and old friends whom appreciate even more with each day. you all are the sunshine of my life. and i can't do without all of you.

and i'm really grateful that two years has passed with no relapse. the danger period's over (:

alot of impulses and spontaneous activities this year. that i'm rather proud of actually. hahaha. my star, alot of shoes and bags and clothes, holidays, parties, friends. and the play. it feels so long ago, but it was just this year. that play changed something inside of me. i don't want to live in the shadows or in someone shadows. might be the last play i do, might not be. but ellen toh, ET, will always be hidden somewhere inside. haha.

holidays. i think i travelled the most ever this year in all my 20 years. but hopefully, next year will be more. let's see, athens with angela & kaylene, italy (milan, venice & florence) with ashraf & lydia (best trip EVER), france (aix en provence, marseille & paris) with mummy, taipei with ming & cass, nottingham many times to find angie (and subsequently po yew & john), stratford-upon-avon with sonya and lastly stockholm with shib. its been fucking awewsome.

and next year line up should run as follows, hk (leaving on thurs), back to london, dublin, new york, lisbon, MAYBE spain, greece (santorini & mikonos), perhaps eastern europe?, japan, hopefully korea, germany for oktober fest & helsinki to find cass. hahaha. possibly will squeeze in more uk weekend trips. including spore, that will mean i might clock as many as 15 countries if i plan well. WOOTS :D i love i love! hahaha, here's to beating chongs' record.

to the ppl who have pulled me through this year, many times having to drag me against the tide back to shore. i heart..

angie: you know my heart inside out love. you're good for me, i'm good for you. i love.

yipeng: old friends are the best right (;

ming: your letters and phonecalls have been my life (:

chor ming: friend & flatmate. who has to fetch a drunk girl at 3am then fetch water for her later in e morning cos if she gets out of bed she'll throw up. HAHA.

and all my lovely friends in lse who actually don't read blogs, but angela, kaylene, alex, allison & tsuki. you guys rock my world (:

new year resolutions.. hmms.

1. keep the self-contentment & happiness levels up!
2. study hard
3. play hard
4. travel more
5. stop cancelling on friends (heh.)
6. take better care of my health
7. not fight with my mum so often
8. lose weight (yes jeremy :p no snarky remarks)
9. love thy friends & love thyself
10. and because i'm ocd & like things in pairs, to do more spontaneous crazy things (:

got a new haircut today. its pretty short by my standards. hahaha. so a new hairdo for a new year. awesome.

so.. so long 2008, you've really been awesome (: and hello 2009! to be happy, healthy & worry-free!

i had the best christmas day ever this year (:

as ridiculous as it sounds.. oh how i feel like lupin in all the fan fiction i read. so much rushing to the surface. so much to hide. so much turmoil. there's nothing about the lupin in the books that i identify with. but in the fanfic. hell yeah.

burns my heart it does.

i'm not sure i want to keep on hoping for a fairytale ending. i refuse to give up my idealistic romantic dreams of life. but i'm not sure i can live up to something like that.

i like socially inept boys. really really like them. as long as they aren't THAT socially inept with me. hahaha. which is why i find edward cullen rather endearing. stef was right, he is my type. dark brooding silent type. yumyum. hahaha. but i found e film abit too cheesy -.- heh. and damnit what's with e zooming into their faces all e time -rolls eyes- did give me a nice view of his eyes though. grins.

i'm going to hongkong (((: teeheeheee. roast goose here i come baby!

merry christmas my friends (: do know i love you guys mucho mucho! and am very thankful for everything we've shared.

i am home. and happy (:

still suffering from a wee bit of jetlag. but happy scew time (missing rachel), angie time and alot other time lined up is making me a happy happy girl.

looks like i'll be heading to hongkong just after e new yr. awesome ((((: MORE MANGA TO BUY! YAY! teeheee.

christmas is coming!!! tis e season to be jolly eh?

the past few days hanging out with angie, plus her housemates then with chor ming has been awesome (: fabulous way to end the school term. teehee.

my heart has grown calmer it seems. i don't like to say that i've grown more 'mature'. hate those kinda shit. but i think i'm more open to alot more things. to not always rushing into things head first. a few years back, maybe even one half years back, i doubt i'd be this calm and collected (most of the time) with everything. but i am now. and i'm so thankful for that.

i love my life in london. its such an independent, easy-going, carefree and exciting life. but its is a limited time. but i will look back on these times as some of the best of my life

i'm heading home in exactly 12 hours (: its good to be going home. i'm too freaking cold here alr. haha. angie just left today. oh how i love angie time. waking up talking philosophical life shit. going shopping. buying shoes :D:D:D:D spending money, eating good food. twas lovely.

christmas at 40 lower rd was awesome (((: hahaha. though i got pierced by wires from my dress -.- had to make alot of egg & tuna sandwiches. got slapped 6 times by a crazy idiot. yeah. it was good (: hahaha, i love going up to notts, esp 40 lower rd. grins.

lardeedum (: i'll be home for christmas!

take my heart this christmas, i'll wrap it in a ribbon and a bow.

last day of school (((: i'm in lecture now. public international law. prof chris greenwood is lecturing :p and he's going to be the next new judge in the icj. AWESOME RIGHT!!! teehee. i'm really enjoying my courses this year i must say. with perhaps e exception of property -.- but yeah. i'm happy with how my term has gone (with the exception i'm dead broke. no shopping for me in london till nyc next year. hehh).

anyway, i'm off to notts tonight, armed with kaya & beard papa for angie and her housemates and heading back to london on sat with angie to do massive last min shopping :D which i can't really do seeing how i'm broke. whatever. hahaha.

sweden is the land of so many things i love (((:


stars everywhere! just like the ones screw got for me (((:


swedish meatballs. omg so damn good.


vintage shopping :D


the sea and such pretty lights


old meandering cobblestoned streets


stars in every window (: swedish christmas tradition. AWESOME! we should so start this in spore.


shib & my cool photography skills. whahaha.


old buildings by the water, what's not to love.


so many pretty christmas decorations (((:


christmas trees and christmas spirit EVERYWHERE!


christmas markets. so bloody awesome :D so much glogg everywhere. teehee.

i love you mingkie poo! till tuesday 7.35am (;

if i ever had a kid in the future. i want to paint his/her room by myself. filled with clouds and stars

: the moon :: cat power :

too much analysing. too much thinking. i don't want to go there. a complicated, miserable, perhaps even slightly delusional place. the reason why i like it so much is cos its simple and direct. we feel and act with not much thought given to it. everything seems to run on a much more primal, simple level where i never have to second-guess intentions behind anything. i hope its the same on the other side too. and that everyone's happy with the way things are. and the possibility of what might be. and like i said, its the possibility that keeps me going. that keeps me satisfied. i don't need more now, if i can have everything forever in the future.

you've taken my heart unknowingly
and until you come back to claim it again
i'll have it shut away tightly
under lock and key

i'm sick and exhausted from my stockholm weekend, and my bloody eu mock exam today. but everything was fabulous (: the xmas markets, the shopping, the snow, the GLOGG (oh how i love glogg), the atmosphere and so much more. thanks to shib for suggesting stockholm ((((: i had an awesome time. even my eu mock exam wasn't too bad. could quote cases and all, just that it took me forever to rmb e marshall case -.- whatever.

been thinking about certain words. i like the word 'lover'. has so many interesting connotations to it. it seems to encompass so much more than a word like boyfriend, or husband. there's the sexual undertone to it as well. hahaha. random thoughts.

pictures up soon (:

i want to go home already! gahhh. i miss people. badly.

and its getting extremely EXTREMELY freaky how well angie and i know each other 0_o haha. and i still refuse to allow myself to believe anything :p

urghs. i'm feeling so sick still ): not good. sighs. i'm really feeling e consequences from retrophilia :p but at least i'm not e worst. hahaha. if that is some form of consolation at all.

anyway, i'm off to stockholm for the weekend with shib. will be back monday :p so i'll see everyone in a few days time.

but before i go:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEL DARLING (: I LOVE YOUUU!

oh i am in a massively dark bad mood. fucking phonebill, bills, EU mock exam next week, PIL assignment to finish, no more minutes on my hp till 9th dec meaning i can't call ANYONE, plus emo angst. fuck its a bad night. i feel like hiroki with the dark evil aura hanging around me now -.- only good thing is that pil lecture got cancelled tmr, so technically i have the day off seeing as how i always skip EU anyway :p

fuck. i'm damn pissed with o2. omg, charging me so fucking much for my phonebill. that's like my entire trip to stockholm -.- bloody hell. thank goodness its almost e end of term alr. i really need to watch my talk time from now on. this is bloody ridiculous. URGHS

i think the guys i've surrounded myself with are terribly wonderful guys (: hahaha. and when i see some guys here, it just makes me want to a) punch their lights out, b) go running home. sighs. but that's not saying that there aren't any good guys here that i adore either. haha.

i miss anwar ): i haven't really talked to him properly in ages.

i think the most miserable, worst time ever while studying overseas is being alone. no one to fuss over you, to take your temperature, sponge you down, feed you medicine, cook you food or insist you rest. it just reminds you how alone you can be in this world. and the thing is i fall sick rather often :p and while having a flatmate this year is alot better than being in the dorm. i love shimoni and all, but all she usually could do when i was sick was to make me sicker by talking to me e whole night. snorts. but the thing is, i'm so self-sufficient that i can do everything up there myself, that sometimes ppl just take it for granted i can do it. shrugs.

i'm not ill. just musing. haha.

stratford-upon-avon was pretty idyllic. had abit of drama rushing for e earlier train back. hahaha. but it was really quite lovely, walking around with sonya. enjoying the cold air. taking in shakespeare (: happy happy.

i'm dreaming of christmas and home again.

: for you i will :: teddy geiger :